Adventures In Parodyverse: Moving In, Part 2

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Moving In, Part 1

Adventures In Parodyverse - Moving In Part 2

    A Guardian has a very important job in the Parodyverse - to provide balance. They are the Pause button on the VCR, unable to mold history to their own whim, unable to change the past, yet often one of many keys to preventing destruction of everything that ever was or will be.

    It's their one and only power. To stop everything, to take a look. They require help from others to affect what they have frozen, to prevent disaster.

    "He would have killed the Hooded Hood," Faite told Liu Xi Xian. The two stood in the spot where Herringcarp Asylum used to be, the trees frozen still in the wind, and birds hanging in the sky but not moving.

    "How exactly did Liu Xi save the world?" Al B asked, sounding confused. "And why is everything stopped?"

    "Time has no effect on the in-between," Liu Xi explained. "The destruction of the Parodyverse needed time as an ingredient."

    "I'm not sure I understand either," Yuki added. "What does this have to do with where Herringcarp went?"

    "I sent the building and everyone in it away," Liu Xi told her. "To the in-between. The battle between them rages on...but because time does not exist there neither party can be killed."

    "Unless one of them figures out how to obliterate the other into energy," Lara added, "But we're hoping they don't figure that out. Or realize where they are."

    "I'm sure the Hooded Hood knows by now," Liu Xi said. "But he enjoys toying with people too much. He won't kill Marvellous Marv."

    "So...we just let them duke it out for a while?" Yuki asked. "And why should we care who kills who?"

    Lara frowned suddenly, uncharacteristic for her cheery nature. "The Hooded Hood has many threads tying him to the fate of the Parodyverse. He has it perfectly set up so he has to give it a nudge now and then to keep it going. It's a dead-man switch, kind of...if he's murdered the Parodyverse eventually dies with him."

    "So let Marvellous Marv die, then." Yuki suggested. "It won't be the first time."

    "As I said, the Hooded Hood won't kill him," Liu Xi replied. "The Hooded Hood has too much fun toying with him. I am beginning to understand him...he is very powerful, and very bored. He places his own life at risk to play these games because the only thrills he has left are those games...and death."

    "Is anyone else worried that Liu Xi is beginning to understand the Hooded Hood?" Al B interjected.

    "No," Lara replied, "Because it's exactly how she's going to fix all of this."

    "You?" Al B looked at the Chinese teen.

    Liu Xi nodded. "I only wanted assistance, I can't rely on others to always fix things for me. I must take responsibility."

    "But all you did was take the Portal of Pretentiousness after the Hooded Hood snatched you," he pointed out.

    "Every small choice we make has consequences," Liu Xi told him. "It's simple quantum mechanics, Al B, you should know that."

    Yuki and Al B looked at each other, and Yuki smiled. "She definitely has been around the Shoggoth too long."


---

    The core of Herringcarp Asylum was dark. Not dark because it had no lighting...it was a darkness of despair, sucking the very life from the poor souls housed there. It was Marvellous Marv's new 'act' - stealing the pain, angish, anger, and fear of the patients past and present in Herringcarp and unleashing their torment upon the mind of the Hooded Hood.

    And it was working, in all its ironic glory. The mad archvillain who thought himself sane, yet surrounded himself with insanity, tasted the warped minds he had been close to yet so distant from for so long. Of course it did...it was an Elder magic, one long lost to time, one never meant for humans to master. One of the small bits left over from the last near awakening of the Fairly Great Old Ones.

    "You don't have a contingency for this, do you?" Marvellous Marv asked as he looked down at the Hooded Hood, collapsed at his feet. "By now you probably wish for death...but since you take such pleasure in torment I thought I'd show you what it's like first."

    The Hooded Hood looked up slowly, his face pained, tired and weary. "You are still a failure," he groaned. And then he chuckled slowly at first, laughed, and then laughed some more.

    Marv was angry now. He reached out for more minds around him, for someone particularly tortured. He found one, which seemed to appear from nowhere suddenly. A young girl, her mind filled with a jumble of confusing thoughts, some in English and some not. The mind was close. Very close.

    Marvellous Marv wheeled around suddenly, seeing the serious-looking Chinese girl. Long black hair, much smaller than he expected, dressed casually in jeans and a Bean & Donut Cafe tee-shirt.

    "You can't hurt him anymore," she warned him in a soft accented voice. She watched the Hooded Hood collapse to the floor.

    "And you're going to stop me?" he asked.

    "No," she replied. "You are going to stop. I know where the Portal of Pretentiousness is now. You will return it to me or I will take it by force."

    Marv frowned and pushed some of the insanity he'd accessed into the Chinese teen's mind. Her eyes narrowed for a moment, but she didn't waver immediately.

    Liu Xi growled angrily and waved her arm. A chunk of the stone floor suddenly raised, pinning Marvellous Marv violently against the ceiling. As he groaned and struggled, she stood below him. "I have tasted such horror twice," she said calmly. "I don't wish to do it again."

    "If you kill me," Marv groaned, "The Portal of Pretentiousness is gone forever."

    "It's within you," Liu Xi whispered. "It calls to me, because I protected it for a short time. You think it is safe there...but be assured that I can extract it whether you're dead or alive." She sighed sadly and added, "But...I would rather not harm you. I've been shown too much cruelty in my life...and I don't wish to spread it to others."

    The Hooded Hood raised his head as he heard that.

    "And if I refuse?" Marv asked painfully.

    "You are human as I am," Liu Xi warned him. "Flesh gives way easily to crushing stone." As a goodwill gesture the stone chunk holding him against the ceiling descended slightly, giving Marv some room to move.

    "If you save me and I let him live," Marv pointed out, "He'll just retcon me again."

    "He may." Liu Xi looked at the Hooded Hood. "He may choose to retcon me too. But he won't. We are now both much too interesting to him."

    "On the contrary, Liu Xi." The Hooded Hood was standing now, limping back to his throne. "You alone are interesting to me. Marvellous Marv is still a miserable failure trying to make up for his shortcomings by--"

    "Quiet!" Liu Xi angrily scolded him. "If you aren't helping me then shut up!"

    The Hooded Hood remained silent, leaning back in his throne, both taken aback and impressed by Liu Xi's outburst.

    She composed herself again in calm and continued speaking to Marv. "I can extract the Portal of Pretentiousness from you whether you wish it or not. I would rather you wish it."

    "What will you do with it?" Marv asked.

    "Return it." She looked at the Hooded Hood momentarily, who was resting comfortably in his throne and watching.

    There were several moments of silence as Marvellous Marv weighed his options, noting that the Hooded Hood seemed to be recovering nicely and that the chunk of rock which came up from the floor still was fairly close to crushing him. Then he looked at the Hooded Hood again and noticed his smug expression.

    "No," Marvellous Marv said. "He dies first!" With that, he unleashed every ounce of power he had stolen and reached out to the dimensions beyond Herringcarp, finding every warped and destructive thought he could find.

    Liu Xi took advantage of the distraction to grab at Marv's body, only her hand didn't touch its physical form...it seemed to reach through him, and begin pulling out a large, translucent chunk of energy. As soon as the chunk of energy was freed, it took form...the Portal of Pretentiousness.

    Marv was angry that it had been stolen from him. Before Liu Xi could step away from him, he reached out and grabbed her shoulder, shoving her to the ground violently, before turning his attention back to the Hooded Hood.

    "You touched me!" she warned angrily. Her eyes narrowed and she quickly returned to her feet. She reached out into the empty air in front of her and the air froze, tiny flakes of ice dropping all over the room. Marvellous Marv didn't realize the very heat in his body was being sucked away until he collapsed from sudden hypothermia.

    "Well done." The Hooded Hood raised an eyebrow. "I see you didn't end his miserable life. Good. You have the same taste for torment the Hooded Hood does."

    "Don't you talk to me," Liu Xi growled at him. She placed the Portal of Pretentiousness in its original location carefully. "I have my own reasons for not killing him."

    "Because Sir Mumphrey Wilton would be disappointed," The Cowled Criminal guessed.

    "No." Liu Xi replied. She didn't elaborate further, and didn't believe she had to from the Hooded Hood's reaction. She caught him guessing, which they both knew was rare.

    "In nature," The Hooded Hood spoke as he leaned back in his throne, "Creatures who don't display fear toward that which other similar creatures do are considered inferior and usually destroyed...by their own kind. It's a matter of survival of the many versus survival of the one. Interesting that humans revere such behavior as bravery, and as a consequence often face destruction of many as a result."

    "You're saying the Lair Legion should destroy me." Liu Xi echoed. "Because I don't fear you. Or they will be destroyed themselves."

    "You're as intelligent as advertised." The Hooded Hood then raised his hand and added, "You may go now."

    Liu Xi found herself outside Herringcarp Asylum, and it was right back where it belonged in Paradopolis.

---

    "But what happened to Marvellous Marv?" Al B Harper asked Liu Xi.

    "I don't know," she admitted. "But I knew the Hooded Hood wouldn't harm him. He is probably recovering from my attack."

    "How can you be sure?" Yuki asked.

    "Because of a conversation I had with the Hooded Hood...that never happened."

    "You're as intelligent as advertised," The Hooded Hood then raised his hand, but paused for a moment when Liu Xi spoke up to interrupt him.

    "It's because you don't wish to owe me anything, isn't it?" Liu Xi asked. "That is why you are going to make sure this conversation never happens."

    He didn't speak, but seemed intrigued at what she said.

    "You work to make sure everyone with any sort of power owes you something...that everyone has a small piece of your great plan," she continued. "But you owe me something."

    "An interesting perspective. How do you come to that conclusion?"

    "Because I protected you from harm...not for your own sake, but for the sake of the world."

    The Hooded Hood leaned back. "Interesting. Continue."

    "But now that I understand your purpose," Liu Xi added, "I know you...can't owe me. Even if I call it even...release you from needing to repay me...you still must make it impossible for me to collect that favor in the future."

    "Correct," The Hooded Hood replied. "And you have a solution, I suppose?"

    She nodded. "I ask a favor immediately. And when I do you will remember it, yet make it as if I never asked."

    "Proceed." He leaned back and steepled his fingers gently, seeming very patient.

    Liu Xi stepped slowly toward the throne of the Hooded Hood, unafraid of his presence or his power. "I wish you to protect Visionary. In some small way, that nobody can see. He has many enemies, and he can use every advantage he can get."

    The Hooded Hood nodded, and his eyes glowed green...and everything changed. Once his eyes returned to normal he simply said, "You may go now."

    Liu Xi found herself outside Herringcarp Asylum, and it was right back where it belonged in Paradopolis.

    And just as Liu Xi guessed, a quick phone call by Yuki confirmed that Marvellous Marv was at Phantomhawk Memorial Hospital recovering from hypothermia. The staff there remained confused at how he managed that in the middle of summer.

    But much to everyone's confusion, Faite seemed uneasy about the whole event. "When a small event is changed by the Hooded Hood," she explained calmly, "It is rarely the only one."

    "I think she's right," Yuki added.

    Al B Harper frowned as he heard something he never thought he would. The Hooded Hood retcon detector, now shrunken to pager size, buzzing obnoxiously from its place on his belt. "I have a very bad feeling about this."

---

    'Good evening,' the Manga Shoggoth greeted Liu Xi, not only seeming unconcerned that she had just stepped out of thin air into his lair, but sounding as if he expected her.

    But Liu Xi was used to that. "Are you watching Hyper Doll again?"

    The Shoggoth shifted slightly, presumably to give Liu Xi his full attention for the moment. 'I've been pondering the role of 'star earrings' as a catalyst causing a lack of human empathy.'

    "This again." Liu Xi sighed impatiently. "There is no role, it's just funny. Like hitting someone with a guitar in FLCL."

    'Does that not force a human to see musical notes?' the Shoggoth asked.

    "You see something, but they aren't musical notes." Liu Xi giggled. "I came to ask you if you sense anything strange about...me."

    'Slightly,' the Manga Shoggoth moved closer. 'I may have to do a closer analysis.'

    Liu Xi nodded, she knew what was coming next. She closed her eyes and mouth tightly, and took a deep breath to hold it. She stiffened as the Manga Shoggoth's gelid mass enveloped her quickly. Each time that happened it was frightening at first, but she knew she would be safe...she trusted him, even though he was still unfamiliar with just how fragile humans are.

    'You were in the presence of some very dark elder magic,' he directly told her mind.

    'Yes,' she thought in return, knowing her mind's energy could be received while the Shoggoth had her enveloped. 'I discovered that elemental magic is more powerful.'

    'No...not more powerful. Incompatible.'

    Liu Xi worried about that, wondering whether the Shoggoth was trying to summarize an abstract that were difficult to understand or whether he was using the word incorrectly.

    The Manga Shoggoth sensed that and tried to explain. 'You could harm him because his magic didn't protect him from yours. The reverse is true as well.'

    That caused her to worry some more. 'Did he harm me? Am I going to be sick like Visionary was?'

    'Are you familiar with the human immune response?' the Shoggoth asked.

    Liu Xi nodded internally, but didn't really move.

    'You elemental magic cannot exist in the same place as his dark elder magic,' he explained. 'The elemental magic is well rooted within you. There is no place for the dark elder magic there.'

    She breathed a sigh of relief, even in the gel somehow. 'Then how am I different?'

    'Picture human antibodies,' the Shoggoth explained. 'When a human is exposed to a foreign body, antibodies are produced.'

    'Can I save Visionary if he becomes ill again?' Liu Xi opened her eyes, ignoring the sensations that flooded her from within the goo.

    The Manga Shoggoth didn't answer at first. He released Liu Xi intact from the gel, settling her gently on the floor. 'It will help you with any dark elder magic encounter,' he said, 'protecting you. But the results may be unpredictable. There are too many variables. Many more than I can easily account for.'

    "What did the Hooded Hood retcon?" she finally asked. "Do you know?"

    Before Liu Xi got her answer, she realized that she was now standing inside a cabin in the conceptual place known as Leumria, and she was alone. The Shoggoth's answer echoed in her head, and it was just one word.

    'You.'

TO BE CONTINUED

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Lara Night (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, all rights reserved
-- All other characters property of their respective owners

Post By Anime Jason Sat Aug 13, 2005 at 07:24:36 pm EDT	Subject Adventures In Parodyverse: Moving In, Part 2

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